Philippians 2:3-4

Christian marriage gives us the context to act as a catalyst of change and an agent of transformation for our spouse.

In our daily life, instead of looking at our spouse through God’s view, we often want our spouse to fulfill our own need and expectation. Instead of being the catalyst of change and agent of transformation for my spouse, we often ask: what do I want from my spouse?

In the book of Philippians, Paul described a God-honouring relationship with God as follows:

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

Paul stressed the the importance of not being self-seeking in a relationship. In the context of marriage, it implies not putting our needs ahead of our spouse. It is to value others above yourselves. In the original text, it means seeing others having higher status and value than oneself. If someone is of a higher status, we would value others above ourselves in a relationship. This is opposite to the concept of marriage being the means for self-fulfillment.

Someone used dancing as an illustration for marriage. While the male dancer is often the lead in a dance, his ultimate goal is to bring out the beauty of his partner. In order to do so, the male dancer needs to appreciate his partner, to be her support in challenging moves, and to act as her anchor when she swings.

By becoming the catalyst of change and agent of transformation in a marriage, we can also bring out the God-given beauty of our spouse. Through appreciation, supporting and anchoring, we can empower our spouse to reach his/her full potential in God.

Reflection Questions:

Have you been paying attention to the strength and potential of your spouse? Did you support and empower him/her to develop the strength or potential? How?

In the past, have you or your spouse been the anchor for each other at moments of loss? What happened at that time? How can you become a better anchor between your spouse and God?